Crocodile Trucker Audiobook chapter proposal

Truckers story Audiobook chapter proposal

CHAPTER PROPOSAL for audiobook "How trucker become MERhujSU Crocodile" - "HOW NOT TRUCKER funk FUNKY truckers so not FUNY" sounds like nothing I 've heard before. Grab the beer and read chapter proposals about trucks, truck drivers, and what others have heard about trucks. truck funk, funk truck. Not FUNKY truckers are not FUNY.

SZLEK - I just landed at the airport in Manchester - what is going on in the DOGshire?
HOPPY - nothing special, dickhead everywhere, some gone to their home countries and some came and looked for accommodation. Where have you been on holiday?
SZLEK - I have been there and there, I will be in DOGshire in a couple of hours. I bought a bottle of some foreign alcohol, so you can be invited. Call me in the evening.
HOPPY - I stopped drinking alcohol after the last party, so you can not count on me. Invite some hot chicks over for a drink and share your holiday story with them.
SZLEK - this is not possible. I call you in the evening.


... a few hours later...


SZLEK - I have new accommodation next to the city center with a nice view. I sent you my new address and do not tell anybody about it. I have not seen you for a while, so please do not disappoint me.
Hoppy - On the way.


Ding Dong opens the door!


SZLEK - wow! you look good! Pop in
HOPPY - Do I look good? Man, you look like you! You look 5 years younger! How did you do it? This is impossible!!!
SZLEK - You know exotic sun makes miracles
HOPPY - This is the same sun as here in this dogSHIRE, it did not make me younger even 1 year. Where's the catch?
SZLEK - Let's drink and speak about life, girls travel, and all this shit around us.


... a few hours later.... one bottle of exotic vodka later...


phone ringing- eee jjjjj SZELK, where is my money? You tell me, pay me money! I check my bank account and no money! You cheat! You're not good!


SZLEK - I do not want to do it anymore! It is not for me! I prefer to be a truck driver and forget about this shit. I m not happy I want to go out from this shit dogSHIRE.
HOPPY - What the funk man. You can be a truck driver for a couple of months, what is the point of being a truck driver for you?
SZLEK - You know, I have a stressful life. Driving, in a local truck, is better for the family. I do not care about things like getting now on my SZLEK life a that is...
HOPPY - Yes, that sounds like depression after a holiday. I have, it's been for a few times in my life. It's normal... forget about those hot chicks from your holiday. But tell me what you know about trucks; tell me some interesting stories about trucks.
SZLEK - Actually, I know one interesting story, but this one is very interesting. Is the story of how truckers funk thieves truckers before thieves truckers cheat them.
H - Ok carry one, sounds good
S - This story happened some time ago; some rich families need to change the country and city where they live so they prepare for a big international move.
H - Let me drink more vodka then...
S - As I said, it was a rich family so they needed to move some expensive goods over a great distance. Those goods were gold, journey, vintage images, cash, ancient goods, and this kind of staff. It was very dangerous to move everything in a few trucks because many international thefts would like to steal it, so they prepared to do it as much as possible and even make money on this movie.
H - international relocation costs money, customers need to pay for the transport company, insurance company, petrol, people to pick up staff and move into the truck, secure goods in trucks, etc. It costs money, so I do not understand how they can make money on international movement?
S - they are smart intelligent people, so when they plan to move they hire somebody to do it. Someone who does not work for an insurance company; someone who knows how does it mean "strategy, tactic" means.
H - I know what I mean too, even when I have drunk many glasses of your exotic vodka. I know even how to say some words in "double dutch"
S - This strategic expert, grabs the information about all truck thieves who live on the international movement route. He prepared special 3-trucks for them; he let them know that there would be some big jobs and easy targets on the way during the night.
H - What do you mean by easy target on the way during the night? I do not understand this... explain this part to me.
S - mrSTRATEGIC plan movement in detail to optimize cost and security, like funking SEO expert. He prepares 3 empty trucks for the international route and lets all thieves that live 100km from the road know that they are an easy target. He went to a few pubs around the road and started to drink and speak to much about movements. He told in pubs that he would be a truck driver in a big international movement and he would be rich.
H - not so smart as for Mr. STRATEGIC to let everyone know about the shipment - do you think?
S - I do not think, he put the trap on the stupid thieves in the best possible way. In front of the 3 trucks, there was a car that sprays the odorless gas when the thieves started to rob the empty trucks, and all the thieves were captured by a special team.
H - Odorless gas in front of the truck? I had never heard of it before. What is the point of spraying someone in front of the truck?
S - This gas makes you sick, makes you sleep; you can not move. It is similar to gas-like medicine doctors give to patients before an operation in a hospital.
H - Rrrriiiiggghhtsss I got it now, all this was a catch before of the gas - does not sound like STRATEGIC to me, sounds more like tactic.
S - I have not finished yet. Let me finish, please - ring - ring - ring - Who is there? I funk I forget OK I am going YES I will be there...
H - What is going on? Do you have a new girlfriend who is calling you in the middle of the night?
S - yyyy,,, no, no girlfriend. The list I have to go to one place for a moment only and I come back in 30 minutes, ok?
H - Can I go with you?
S - Better if you stay there, I just forget about something, I need to go - you do not have to go back to your home - just wait for me. See you in 30 minutes.
H - Sounds like I do not have other options.


... One hour went by...


S - I came back, sorry one more time.
H - what was that? Where have you been in the middle of the night?
S - I had something to pick up and that's it ok?
H - Yes sure, ok. Just finish the story about truck international movements...
S - Yeah. Mr. Strategic sprays all thefts, puts them into the 3 empty trucks, and sends thieves from different countries to steal everything they can from thieves' houses during the international movements. Generally speaking, all those local thieves have been robbed from every steal of items that they steal before these international movements.
H - No way, that's a tricky thing. So mrStrategic planned everything in advance. He made money not on organizing international goods movements but on stealing from the thieves.
S - Indeed, 3 empty trucks were only a catch. Generally speaking, international movements have been made on another secure route which was next to the thief's houses. That'S how the FUNKY or STRATEGIC funk the funky truckers so funk.
H - Nice story sounds stronger than the exotic vodka that you bring from other continents. Les go for a walk-on city center, let us go to some pub.
S - OK let us go


... one hour later in the pub ...


S - I told you a story about trucks, now it is your turn. Tell me something about truck drivers that I do not know.
H - This is not my story, but I know one rent man or letting agent who rents the apartment and houses. I met him once and he asked me a few questions like - what to do if? Shall he do it? What would happen if he did not?
S - What kind of questions was that? I do not understand that.
H - He asked me if he could rent an apartment for a half-Indian half-Pakistanian who brings a passport that looks like a fake. Shall he rent an apartment for an illegal immigrant and what happens to him is a police spot that he rents for illegals, etc?
S - OK, but you missed the point. Tell stories about trucks or truck drivers, not about illegal migrants with false passports.
H - Yeap! The letting agent asked him what kind of job he wanted to do in DOGshire and he replied that he wanted to be a truck driver and shows him a false driving license.
S - Illegal truck driver that a something new for me. So what kind of cargo can he move in this country?
H - sound like a new story for me...


...few pints later...


S - man you drunk too much go home
H - put me into the taxi, please
S - funk you, you stupid drunk funk go yourself.
H - I m so drunk that I can not walk man, what kind of exotic vodka was that?


... next day the phone rang...


S - Where are you?
H - In the house, what do you want? I do not remember anything from last night...
S - I spot that documents are not in the correct order! Did you move the documents?
H - What kind of documents? I check if I have my documents in my jacket.
S - Those documents are in the drawer in my new apartment... they are in bad order!
H - Do you remember as I begged you to put me in the taxi last night?
S - Yes I told you to funk yourself Mr. DRUNKY
H - Now I told you the same - funk your documents, Mr DRUNKY

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